Permission

Photo by me.

Hello there lovelies,

Sometimes I think we are all too hard on ourselves, especially when we're sad. And sometimes I think having so many people telling us how easy it is to be happy actually makes it harder to achieve. Sometimes being happy is easy - usually, when we're already happy. But sometimes, it can be the hardest thing in the world. And when it is the hardest thing in the world it sucks to have people telling you it's so easy to think positive. Instead, I say that when it's hard to be happy that's ok. Not being happy right now doesn't mean that you're never going to be happy again. It doesn't mean that you're weak, or just not trying hard enough.

All it means is that, right now, you're sad. And that's cool.

You have permission to be sad. You have permission to cry, and scream and punch walls (just don't leave holes if you're in a rental). Don't try and force yourself to be happy if you aren't. Certainly take some time to think about why you aren't happy, and what you can do to change your circumstances, but don't force the happiness. Getting happy shouldn't be about trying to force the feeling into existence, just because. Getting happy should be about finding out what works for you. Pretending you're happy when you aren't just makes it harder to figure out what actually makes you happy. So if you're not happy, then just be sad. Eventually you'll spin on back round to happy - real happy.

Until next time, xo.

Conversations With My 13 Year Old Self

A young( & much littler than 13 year old) me.

Hello there lovelies,

I was looking through one of my old online journals when I found this - a letter to myself at 13, that I wrote in 2008. While now I would probably add some more practical things to this letter (such as, dude, learn how to cook and iron BEFORE you leave home!), I think that this would have been more valuable knowledge.

Dear little Stacey,

You are beautiful. No matter what she says, you're beautiful. And most especially, no matter what he says, you are beautiful. One day there will be someone who loves you, and appreciates you, just as you are. That's right, you won't have to change. And you don't have to change. One day, someone will help you pick up the pieces, and finally mend. You won't have to worry about the things you've done, because they'll understand. You don't have to compromise your own values and beliefs, because they will understand. You don't need to drown in that bottle, or pick up that joint to numb the feelings that you're feeling, because they will understand. You don't need to be afraid of your body, your sexuality or your desires, because they will understand. Most importantly, you don't need to worry about being abandoned, because they will understand. You don't need to lose weight, or dress like a slut, or put on make-up, because they'll think you're more beautiful as you.

I know that there's things happening to you, and things that will happen to you that I can't fix, or change. But just know, eventually they will be reconciled. Eventually you won't feel like you're alone in a crowded room. I know that there's nothing I can say to convince you that you're perfect, and you're loved, and one day you'll be loved the way you've always wanted to be, but I know that it's true.

The only one holding you back is you.

Love, big Stacey.

How about you lovelies? What would you tell your younger self if you had the chance? Are there things that you wish you had have known sooner? No matter how bad the journey was, I'm glad that I finally learnt the things that I wish I had known all along.

Until next time, xo.

Bikini Shopping Blues

Hello there lovelies,

Today I plan to talk about a rather tenuous topic - swimsuit/bikini shopping. I hate it, you hate it. I'm yet to find anyone female who doesn't despise the process of squeezing into tiny pieces of fabric in badly lit fitting rooms (which often seem to have borrowed the carnival mirrors). It is a process that seem to waken insecurities in even the most secure of women, and as the Australian Summer draws closer I'm starting to see this again every day. A few weeks ago a lovely lady came into the fitting rooms with an arm full of swimsuits. Only a couple of minutes after she went into the changing room, I started to hear crying. I didn't know what to do. I asked if she was alright, and got no response so I stood like a stunned mullet until she came out again. As she handed me the swimsuits back, wiping away the last of her tears she said, "This is really hard sometimes, isn't it?". It saddened me, firstly because she was so sad, but also because I knew exactly what she meant.

I know what it feels like to try on a bikini, look in the mirror and feel as if every one of your flaws has been magnified by a hundred, regardless of whether said flaws even exist. I know how it feels to look in the mirror and be crushed because you don't see the body of Jessica Alba in Sin City reflected back at you. But why do I need the "perfect bikini body" to be happy about the way I look in a swimsuit? The answer, of course, is that I don't. And, of course, neither do you. Do you know who the only person who ever told me I look bad in a bikini is? Me. I am the only one who has ever seen the multitude of flaws that I constantly stress about when putting on a swimsuit. And you know what? I may not be Jessica Alba, or Scarlett Johannsson, or any other Hollywood starlet, but this Summer I am going to put on my damn bikini and strut confidently along the beach with the best of them. This is the body that I have. No magazine exercise regime, or fitting room mirror, or anything else is going to tell me that this body isn't good enough to show people.

This Summer I am banning feeling bad about my "bikini body". I am banning worrying about "wobbly thighs" in shorts. I am banning worrying about "chicken wings", or "pot bellies", or wonky ankles, whatever else there is to worry about. I don't want to be the woman crying in the change room about what I see in the mirror anymore. I'm not going to hate my body for not being something that it can't be. But mostly, I'm not going to punish myself because I'm not a swimsuit model. The best part about this? You don't have to do any of these things either. You don't need to listen to what anyone else has to say about your body, and you don't need to listen to the bad things you say about your own body. Your body does so much for you, and it is deserving of your love. I know that loving your body can be one of the hardest things to achieve, especially when you've been bent on hating it for so long. But I promise, you are worth the effort. And I will be the happiest person in the universe when no one cries in the change rooms while they shop for swimsuits, because they realise time is better spent loving than hating - and that this rule even applies to your "bikini body".

Until next time, xo.

Things I Don't Want People Knowing About Me

Hello there lovelies,

Kat of Inspired to Action and Megan of Princess Lastertron have both recently written about things that they don't want people knowing about them(here & here), and that got me thinking. What things don't I usually share? What don't I want people knowing about me? Why don't I want people knowing these things? So I thought up my own list - here are the things I don't usually want people knowing about me.

1. I am incredibly shy, and I feel so awkward in social situations that it hurts. When I meet new people I worry constantly. I worry if I'm wearing the right things and if I'm saying the right things. I worry when people don't laugh at my jokes, and I worry when they do. If people don't talk to me for a while after I see them I worry that I said something wierd that made them hate me.
   


2. I hate washing dishes, so sometimes the dishes sit on my sink for weeks. Until they really start to piss me off, I only wash what dishes I need for a particular meal.
   


3. I've never really spent any time on my own until I stayed in Toowoomba for a week on my own recently. I moved straight from living with my parents, to living at university, to living with The Boyfriend. I'm terrified of spending any length of time alone, and when I am along I'm scared that some serial killer is going to get me.
   


4. I am the most unco-ordinated person in the world. IN THE WORLD. I can't catch a ball to save my life, I constantly trip over my own feet and I have trouble staying upright on a bicycle. In fact, when I was learning to ride a bike I hit everything in sight (including the one tree in our yard). I'm always covered in bruises from walking into door frames, banging my hands and arms on things, and tripping over.
   
   
5. I cry in pretty much everything, and at pretty much everything. I cry in episodes of House. I cry in emotional movies like The Green Mile. I cry in children's movies, like Dinosaur. I cry when I'm sad, when I'm happy and when I'm really angry.
   
   
6. I was once pretty much an alcoholic. I couldn't bear to spend a day without drinking, and if I had to I would get angry, distressed and panicky. I blew off old friends, and lied to my family so that I could spend more time drinking. I could scull a ten-pack of Woodstock in an hour, and be whinging later that I was sober. At the end of a pay week I'd scrape together my silver change to buy more alcohol. I'd all but stopped eating, I did a lot of stupid things and I hurt a hell of a lot of people.
   

That's pretty much it for my list. Why I don't want people to know these things is another question entirely. Partially, I think it is because I'm embarrassed by these things. But also, I hate people knowing things that I consider weaknesses. I like to be seen as strong and in control, when in reality I am often shy, clumsy, scared and obsessive. But you know, that's ok. Having people know these things about me doesn't change who I am, it just helps them understand me. It might help the other people in your life understand you if you tell them the things you don't want them to know. Why don't you give it a try?

Until next time, xo.

Hey Mainstream Media, I Am:

Hello lovelies,

Now, imagine that some incredibly smart young girl decided to create a pool of images on flickr where people took pictures of themselves holding signs that say exactly what they think of mainstream media. Wouldn't that be great? If you answered yes, then you should check out the flickr pool "Hey Mainstream Media! I Am:", where people finish that sentence and voice their opinion on the media through pictures. This is another project masterminded by Jamie Keiles of The Seventeen Magazine Project, and the pool is well worth checking out. Here are a few of my personal favourite images from the group.

If you're reading this, then you should submit an image to the pool, and keep this project going. What would you say to mainstream media if you had the chance? Say it with signs, and let me know!

Until next time, xo.

What Has Your Body Done Today?

Photo by jaytildeath

Hello there my lovelies,

Take a moment today, and think about everything your body has done for you in the last 24 hours. Mine has done lunges, bicep curls, jumping jacks, upward dog and downward dog. It has stretched, lifted, strained and gotten stronger. It stood for 8 hours on a concrete floor at work and carried countless loads of clothes around my store - without complaining as well, I might add. My body has turned food into energy, repaired itself in my sleep and hugged the man I love. My eyes work well enough that I'm rereading Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone for approximately the 50th time. My fingers have let me type this blog post. When I stop to think about it, my body has done countless amazing things for me today, and I bet yours has too.

What has you body done for you today? And more importantly, what have you done for your body?

Until next time, xo.

Who Here Has Ever Been Called A Slut?

Hey there lovelies!

Now, as anyone who knows me in real life can attest, one of my favourite movies is Mean Girls, the 2004 teen comedy written by Tina Fey. For me, it was like how I experience real high school life with a Hollywood touch. Mean girls, "The Plastics" rule North Shore High School with gossip and social humiliation (real life). Eventually brought to justice by a lovable band of misfits, teaching everyone a valuble lesson about how to treat others, and making Northshore a pleasant place to learn (the Hollywood touch). Apparently my not-so-secret obsession with this movie is something I share with many other young women - but I have to wonder if some people completely miss the point of this movie.

To me, the key "message" to take away from this movie is that young women spend far too much time being critical of other women (as well as themselves) and trying to tear other individuals, when we should be supporting and encouraging each other. Instead of talking about each other behind our backs we should directly confront each other with our problems. Being beautiful, socially savvy and fashionable does not excuse you from treating the people around you like a human being. And wasting your energy trying to ruin another person's happiness will never make you happy.

So, why do young women still want to be "The Plastics"? When I saw Mean Girls in the cinemas, I walked out and in the line for the bathroom heard a group of girls my age having a conversation about how they were "totally Plastic material", and "how great it would be to be The Plastics." And it seems I keep hearing that conversation, even years after the movie came out. I mean, hang on a minute - did we all watch the same movie? You want to be the horrible girls that everyone hated? You want to be bitchy, and backstabbing, and have people dislike you so much that they give you footcream instead of facewash? But I know that isn't what young women are thinking about when they say these things. No matter how mean they are, girls like "The Plastics" are still a symbol of glamour, beauty, money and power. All of which are things that young women are told they need, or need to be in order to live a successful life. Unfortunately, I also think that young women are encouraged to be mean to one another, and tearing other women down to make ourselves feel better appears to be a common coping strategy.

It needs to stop. Now.
Throughout my high school years, and even into the present day, most of the bullying I have experienced has come from other young women. 9 times out of 10, if someone was calling me fat, or ugly, or spreading rumours about me, it was another female. And dare I say it, 10 times out of 1o, if someone was calling me a slut it was another girl. But on the flip side, some of the most caring and compassionate friends I have are also young women. We have the capacity to support each other in unimaginable ways - so why are we so often mean to each other? I think it does take a strong person to have amazing friends without feeling like we are somehow lacking. But then, that hits at the root of the problem. I feel that the women who are meanest to each other are usually the ones who are meanest to themselves. All of the nastiness doesn't really help anyone though. In the eternally wise words of Lindsay Lohan's character Cady:

"Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you."

I want you to try something for me. Next time you go to trash talk another woman, whether it is one of your friends, or a celebrity, make a note of it. Why are you saying someting nasty about her? Does she deserve what you are saying about them? Do you even know the person you're saying the nasty thing about? Why do you feel the need to critisise her? How do you feel about yourself when you see, or hear about this person? Think about these things before you say what you were going to say. It may turn out that you didn't need to say it at all. Maybe you were having a bad day, or feeling down, and that turned into lashing out at this person. Whatever the case, once you realise you're doing it then you can fix the problem. Maybe all of us supporting each other, and accepting our difference and flaws is a long way off - but stopping the meaness may be the first step towards making Girl World a more pleasant place for all of us.

If anyone needs me, I'll be over sitting with the Art Freaks.

Until next time, xo.

Post, In Which There Is Rambling.

Photo by me.

Hello there lovelies,

Things aren't always going to be easy. Life isn't always just going to go your way, and sometimes you will feel like you're pushing shit up hill. You will be overwhelmed. You will feel like you're all alone in a crowded room. You will feel like today is the worst possible day that you will ever have. You will feel frustrated, and empty, and cry until your eyes stop making tears. You will scream, you will swear, and you will punch the walls. You will want to tear your hair our, and yes, at times, you will probably wish you were dead.

At times, you will also be overcome with joy, and amazed with everything around you. You will smile, and laugh until you feel like you couldn't ever be happier than you are at this moment. You will dance, and cheer, and hug your friends like it's the last time you'll get the chance. You will love, and be loved with a fierceness & tenderness that you could never imagine. You will find happiness in the simplest things. There will be days where everything goes exactly the way you plan, and you feel like you could walk on water. You will feel strong, and fulfilled.

But, as I am discovering at the moment you don't really get to choose when these days come. I apologise if I have been a little quiet on the blog front this week. I recently found out that a good friend of mine is pregnant. While this is amazing news, it knocked me for a six in a way that I never counted on. Not many people know that, had things gone otherwise, The Boyfriend and I would be parents right now. When we had just met, we were young and silly (not to mention careless), and I fell pregant only a few months after we started dating. We were ecstatic, and and terrified, as most people are in that situation. But, not even two weeks after we found out, I miscarried. For a long time, I couldn't bear to sit next to a stranger's baby on a bus, let alone talk about children, or baby-sit. But after a while, the pain lessened and I could stand to be around children again. Pregnant women even. But hearing that this close friend of mine is pregnant - well, it feels like I just had the stitches ripped out of an old, puss-filled, searing wound.

Nonetheless, I know that this intense pain is a passing thing. Soon, I will be just as intensely happy as I have even been, and I'll probably be throwing around crafty ideas about things to make for the baby. Anyway, my point - you can't choose when life will open up these old wounds, or "thow you a curveball", if you like that metaphor. What you get on any particular day is always going to be a bit of a lucky dip. But, no matter how horrible things get, they can get better. To delve back into the metaphor, how you choose to ride the curves is all up to you. I choose to see that the bad times can, and will end. And as such, I accept that the good times will always end too. But that doesn't mean it's not worth trying to make them good.

Until next time, xo.

Why The Bloodhound Gang Makes The World A Happier Place

Hey there lovelies,

I've come up with a new strategy for dealing with the inevitable build-up of frustration that occurs after working particularly painful days in retail. When the day finishes, I hurry out the door into my car, and then pump this song out through my crappy speakers:

At first glance, it seems like a pretty negative way to deal with things right? But here's the thing - I cannot, and I mean cannot listen to this song without cracking up laughing. By the time the song finishes, I'm laughing so hard, and in such a good mood that I've completely forgotten what annoyed me about my day in the first place. I get home with a smile on my face, completely ready to spend my time at home happily, instead of bitching about what happened during the day. (Of course, this isn't foolproof, I still bitch sometimes!). But that, my dears, is why The Bloodhound Gang makes the world a happier place.

Until next time, xo.

Hey, It's Ok!

Photo by me - Taken at Kiama, NSW 2009.

Hello there lovelies,

I thought it was about time for another one of these. So, remember, it's completely and totally ok for you:

To pass up a boozy night on the town to read a book, hang with your partner, or curl up on the couch with a DVD; to smile for no particular reason; to not smile for no particular reason; to own more crazy hats than you could ever possibly need; to be proud of the tiny biceps you're slowly cultivating; to watch your favourite TV shows/movies over and over again, until you know all the words; to secretly be madly in love with Chuck Bass (or Blair Waldorf for that matter); to be happy when everyone else is sad (or sad when everyone else is happy); to jump around like an idiot when you have pins & needles in your hand/foot; to listen to crazy ska bands; to decide not to brush your hair today; to have no real idea where your life 'is headed'; to drink so much iced coffee that it may have replaced your actual blood supply; to look in the mirror & think "Fuck, I'm hot"; to not wear high heels, or even skirts 90% of the time; to somehow feel more in control of your life because you finally bought a new yearly planner; to repeatedly say "I love (insert character here) during movies, about different characters; to not want to be a runway model; to pretty much exclusively wear the 3 for $12 Jay Jay's underwear because it's so damn cute; to spend time staring into nothingness; and to love your life so fiercely that it hurts.

Really, its ok! I promise.

Until next time, xo.

Radical Self Love - Because You're Worth It

Hello there lovelies,

You guys all probably know that amazing Gala Darling declared February the month of radical self love, which I though was quite rad. Learning to love yourself is something that is truly worth all the effort and trouble. You won't always do it quite right, just like loving anyone else in the world. Sometimes you'll stumble, and catch yourself being less than loving to yourself. Just like you have to work to cultivate any relationship, you have to work to cultivate radical self love. You have to believe that you are worth all the effort.

I've noticed that people in my life, and especially women, fall short of acheiving their goals because they don't really believe they are worth the end result. It's a waste of your precious time lovelies! How are you ever going to sell yourself to a potential employee if you don't think you are worth buying? How are you going to get that promotion if you don't think you are worth promoting? How are all those fabulous ideas in your head going to come to pass if you tell yourself they aren't worth trying? And of course, how are you going to love yourself if you don't think you're worth the love?

I'll tell you a really big secret - you are worth the love. Every single one of you is worthy of love, both from yourself, and other people. I know that's the bit that is hardest to figure out. I don't know why, but it seems to be far more accepted to put yourself down than to build yourself up. I think it is because when you stand up and tell the world how amazing you are, other people start to feel like maybe they aren't as amazing as you. Now that isn't true - everyone has something special about them, and I don't think we need to be jealous of another person's talents. But the more you believe you are worth it, the less it matters if other people are jealous, or nasty. You're worth the love, and their reactions say more about them than you. People who put you down because you are worth loving are people who haven't discovered that they are worth loving too!

So get out there and convince yourself that you are worth radical self love. Hold your head up high; speak up for yourself; wear those incredible "special occasion" clothes on any old normal day; go somewhere you have always wanted to go; get into your best lingerie and shimmy in front of the mirror to a cheesy song about how sexy you are; write lists of all the things about you that are amazing; read books that you love, even if you've read them a million times before; change your hair colour (or just your manicure); write love letters to yourself, and hide them inside your favourite household objects so that you find them again later; wear clothes that suit your shape regardless of the number on the tag; tear pages that make you happy out of magazines and make a scrapbook or inspiration board; put your name in for a new job that suits you better, and tell the potential employer exactly why you deserve it, and cut the crap! Cut out the negative self-talk, cut out putting yourself down to make other people feel better, and cut out that niggling feeling that you are not as good as someone else. You are amazing, and you're totally worth it. Remember that!

Until next time, xo.

Love Your Mind Etc.

Photo by Rafael da Costa

Hey there lovelies,

I know I spend a lot of time on this blog babbling away about body image - it's an important topic, and one that deserves plenty of voice. Sometimes though, I think that we focus so much on our bodies, and our appearance that we forget about the multitude of other things that are good about us. It is a good thing for us to value our bodies. You know, we need them to live, to get us where we have to go, and for a variety of other reasons. We should love our bodies, and treat them with the respect that they deserve. It's just that sometimes I think we all forget that we are so much more than our bodies. Sure, I feel great when I put the effort into keeping my body healthy and active, and when I can be bothered to shave my legs, get a nice haircut or wax my damn eyebrows. But, I don't need to do any of those things to be the person that I am. I have done plenty of amazing things, and I am amazing in plenty of ways that have nothing to do with how I look. And here's the kicker - so are you.

Just step back and think for a minute (and not about the size of your butt). I'm sure that there are things you love and value about yourself that have nothing to do with your outward appearance. Maybe you're the person who knows everything there is to know about Ancient Egypt, or you have the ability to make anyone you meet laugh milk out their nose. Perhaps you get straight A's in anything academic without even trying, or you can paint pictures that would make Picasso cry. You might even be the best shotputter you know, or have the uncanny ability to craft anything from secondhand materials. You could be an amazing public speaker/debater, or an actor/singer that can move people to tears. These things all have something in common - they have nothing to do with what you look like. Well, that and hearing about any one of these things would probably make you seem more interesting to someone you've only just met than an in-depth analysis of your beauty routine.

I can sew things that I'm happy to wear out in public.
I can happily discuss scientific theory with people I know.
I've spent three years studying psychology, and extending my knowledge about people.
I was once referred to as the "secret weapon" of my debating team.
I win awards for public speaking, and once wrote a short story that made someone cry.

I can read most novels in a day.

All these things make me proud, and I know you have your own. So love them! Find the things that you are incredible at, or that you really love about yourself and cultivate them. Read, laugh, love, speak, make, act, do whatever it is that you do more often. Even better if you can take some of the time you would usually spend obsessing over your appearance and channel it into something else. I'm not saying you shouldn't love your body, or spend lots of time learning how to take care of it, and feel your best. All I'm trying to do is remind you that you are so much more than what you look like - and I'm sure that one day you'll be glad that you spent time cultivating your relationship with those other parts of you. They are the ones that will hang around, long after your appearance changes. Remember, everything about you is worthy of being treasured.

Until next time, xo.

Things I love Thursday (Or maybe Friday..), In Honour of 100 posts!

Photo by rogvon

That's right, this is my 100th post, good readers! So here are 100 things I loved this week:

Sewing; free magazine headphones; helping a friend shop for a faux engagement ring; forcing my cat to give me a hug; being told I do the work of five people by my boss; my other boss finally remembering my name; customers who say "Thank you so much for your help, I really appreciate it"; customers who politely ask if they have enough time to try things on fifteen minutes before closing; cans of Pepsi Max in my fridge; reused denim wallets for $9; compliments; early morning cuddles.

That's 10!

Putting the alarm on for ten more minutes; being greeted by a crazy dog when I come home; constantly chasing my cats away from the iron (LOLworthy); cold water on a hot day; my sewing machine; wearing things I've made myself out of the house; getting lots of nice comments on said handmade things; finally plucking up the courage to wear my bowler hat shopping; paying bills & getting ahead; stealing kisses in the middle of the night.

Just hit 20!

Finding The Boyfriend reading the book I made him for our first Christmas; parties with friends, and without drama; cool fabric remnants for cheap; doing my Dressmaking coursework & making it pretty; free headphones with a magazine; collapsing on the couch after a hard days work; coffe made lovingly by The Boyfriend; vegemite & cheese on toast; actually having tailors chalk for once; coming home to find dinner in the oven.

Can I hear a hoorah for 30?

My comfy shoes that I bought for work & now wear everywhere; reading A Clockwork Orange, midnight swimming; being a cheap drunk; sneakily staring at The Boyfriend when he thinks I'm writing in this blog (sneaky!); smiling at random strangers & seeing them get unsettled by it; dresses at work with peacock-inspired patterns; having loads of crafty inspiration; watching a storm roll in over a beautiful lake; Jillian Michaels fitness DVD's.

That's 40 guys!

Seeing the pets sprawled in hilarious positions while they try to keep cool; Max California's 31 Skirts; random urges to rewatch all my episodes of House; seeing Leighton Meester on an episode of House (before she was Blair Warldorf); my friend having an interview for a job at an adult shop - she had to "sell" her interviewer a vibrator; going to work because it is airconditioned; putting my birthday card that was handmade by my friends right beside the TV; my favourite pair of jeans; carrying my Tim Minchin merch bag everywhere, reading magazine meant for teenagers.

50 things, who knew?

Finding out it's a small world after all; impromptu breakfast with a friend turning into impromptu shopping with a friend; a seam ripper that actually rips seams; all my animals staring at me from the bathroom foor while I change my earrings; butter tarts; getting all the washing folded; Gala Darling's style tips; realising just how much jewellry The Boyfriend has made me over the years; being able to say "over the years" when referring to my partner, good friends getting engaged.

Coming up on 60 there!

Reheated pizza for breakfast; Reheated garlic bread for dinner; Family Guy - Blue Harvest; Watching Idiocracy and worrying about the future of the human race; Subway that is totally worth the 15-minute wait in line; 4-hour firefight matches on Halo 3; going to bed early & actually getting enough sleep; meeting cool new people; having someone say exactly what you need to hear; Having a huge pile of books waiting to read.

70, I'm getting there guys!

The feel of just-washed hair; days where there is nothing to do except laze around with The Boyfriend; having amazing parents; when the pattern on your fabric lines up perfectly when you're done; discovering things in the back of your wardrobe to fall in love with; random telephone calls & long conversations; thinking up designs faster than you can sew them; having a sense of purpose; my work shirts coming up bright white after a bit of bleach; when you leave the fan on all night & then the morning is cold enough to curl up in a blanket.

Whew, 80!

Net-stalking people I think are cool; getting a new fitness plan organised; Nubby Twiglet's wardrobe; assorted bloggers' "what I wore" pictures; being in a generally good mood most of the time; having someone to hold me when the good mood fails; not spending money on clothes I don't need & that I can make myself; staring off into the distance & dreaming about the future; crossing my fingers that The Boyfriend gets the awesome job he wants; remembering my weight is just a number.

90, that's what I'm talking about!

Being loved - by my partner, my parents, my friends & the rest of my family; buying cute little notebooks to keep in my bag & record my design thoughts on; when my cats lay looking like mirror images of each other (yin/yang perhaps?); having curly hair; looking through old photographs; talking to my best friend; eating Macdonalds beside a lake at nighttime; being taken care of; being appreciated.

And what is the 100th thing I've loved this week? ALL OF YOU! All you people who read this blog, leave comments/love, and make this whole blogging thing extra fun!

Photo found at kind over matter

On an administrative note, as much as I've enjoyed Blogger, I'm considering switching over to Wordpress. Has anyone else out there done this, and would you say it was worth it? Any awesome/horror stories? Let me know (also, let me know what is making you happy)!

Until next time, xo.

Campaign for Real Beauty

Hello there!

Here's a cute little video for all of you out there today who aren't feeling so great about yourself - to you, from someone who thinks you're all beautiful.

Video from tpiper

The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty began in 2004 and has been working ever since to open eyes, and widen peoples perceptions of beauty. You probably saw their campaigns featuring real women of all ages, shapes and sizes as models. I know I did, because I was pretty much in love with that advertising campaign. I fully support their efforts to expand on the traditional notion of beauty, and in particular the belief that beauty must be young. I believe that women are beautiful at any age - and this video from Dove's Pro-Age campaign certainly backs me up.

Video by wllmsjennifer

Their website also contains lots of cool resources for young girls, including information about self esteem, image manipulation, and being media-smart. There are also resource for mothers of young girls, including a workbook of fun activities that you can do with your daughter to improve her self-esteem. Even better, the Dove Self-Esteem Fund is supporting self-esteem programs in Canada, Amerca, the UK, Mexico, Australia, Korea, Austria, Hungary, and many other countries. Their aim is to reach five million young women by end of 2010. The counter on their website has them at just over three million so far, so I thought I'd help spread the word. Every little bit helps right?

Until next time, xo.

The Great Gemma Ward Debate (Or, is this really fat?)

Hello there everyone,

I've got a bone to pick this morning, after The Boyfriend linked me to a rather disturbing article - Gemma Ward has apparently quit modelling due to attacks on her new shape, following recent weight gain. I don't know what disturbs me more. The fact that this young woman has been attacked so vehemently over her changing body shape, or the fact the she is considered too big to be a conventional model. Pictures from one of Gemma's last modelling jobs have been posted under many different headlines - from "A not so itsy bitsy teeny weeny Chanel bikini" to "Chanel Spring 2008 Embraces the Big Girl". But is this really fat?

All I see is a perfectly healthy, attractive young woman. She's just changed from a waifish 16 year-old girl into a 22 year-old woman - boobs and hips tend to come with the territory! But you know, God forbid that women modelling clothes for the masses should actually represent normal women. It's better for sales if we all hate our bodies, and will try anything to look like a little boy, right? It really saddens me, because I feel like fashion is a industry that has so much potential to build women up, yet it wastes so much time tearing them down. Why not celebrate all the different body types in world instead of condemning all but one of them? Why not advocate being happy and healthy, rather than being skinny at any cost? And why, why berate young women over the bodies that they are growing into? I'm sick of seeing people look at the female body through warped eyes, and I'm sick of hearing girls like Gemma being called "obese".

So I just want to say, to Gemma, and to all the other young women out there - don't listen to the people tearing you down. If you love yourself, and you love your body, then no naysayer can take that away from you. You are all beautiful, no matter what shape your body happens to be. You all deserve so much more respect than Gemma has been shown in this situation, and you don't have to take this shit. How about this time, instead of doing what they expect, we throw them for a six and love our bodies unconditionally? Don't worry, I've got your back.

Until next time, xo.

Love Your Mind - Anxiety and Depression Awareness Month

Hello there lovelies,

As I come back from a slightly extended absence, I've got a topic to talk about that's really close to my heart. I'm a little late to the party, but October is the Beyond Blue Anxiety and Depression Awareness (ADA) Month, obviously aimed to promote understanding and awareness of anxiety and depressive disorders. According to Beyond Blue, depression affects 1 in 5 people throughout their lifetime, and one in four people experience anxiety. That's a hell of a lot of people - and those figures include a lot of people that are near and dear to me. I've experienced depression firsthand, and I know what these disorders can do to people. So maybe it's not much, but I'll do my little bit to get the word out.

Beyond Blue makes it very easy to do just that. If you head on over to their website they have a range of online information, as well as packs that they'll send to you for free. Here are just a few ways you can help raise public awareness about these disorders:

• Order some information packs from Beyond Blue and distribute them to people you know, or around the workplace.
• Use one of the Beyond Blue woven shopping bags to carry stuff around.
• Wear a blue wristband for the month of October.
• Display a Beyond Blue fridge magnet at home or work.
• DIY yourself an ADA month t-shirt/bag/anything else you can think of.
• Download one of these Beyond Blue posters from the website and put it on your blog or just link to the website.
• If you've experienced anxiety or depression talk to people you know about your experiences - half the problem is that people still don't think of these disorders as a normal part of life!
• Download the anxiety and depression checklists at the Beyond Blue website, and check your family, friends, and of course yourself.
• Anonymously send an information pack to anyone you think may be experiencing anxiety or depression.

So seriously, if I haven't said it enough head on over to the Beyond Blue website and get involved. The more people there are getting the word out, the more those people who suffer from anxiety and depression will know they're not alone! Speak up for all those people who may not presently be able to speak up for themselves - they will thank you later. And I'll thank you too.

Until next time, xo.

Hey, It's Ok!

Photo by luana183

Hello there lovelies,

I've seen this type of article popping up in all my favourite fashion magazines late, so I thought I'd put my own spin on it. So, remember, it is completely ok for you:

To check your reflection in windows, toasters and various other shiny surfaces; to like pornography just as much as a man; to sulk like a five-year-old when you fall over and skin your knee (or ass, in my case); to laugh until your sides hurt at cheesy old movies; to have spent all your money mentally before you've actually been paid; to make sure you do your "sexy exercise" (e.g. belly dancing) when your partner is home so they can enjoy it too; to spend far too much time reading books; to be in your twenties and wear t-shirts with messages in rainbow writing; to have no religious beliefs; to spend less than $100 (or even $50) on a whole outfit; to have a crazy crush on a same-sex celebrity; to love yourself unequivocally; to be in a good mood even when you've only got $1.60 left after paying your rent; to have sex with the lights on; to snort a little whenever you laugh; to be immensely cheered up by heart-shaped post-it notes; and, to be a little annoyed when a customer is overly rude to you at work.

Really, it's ok!

Until next time, xo.

The Art of the Female Friendship

Hello there lovelies,

Now before I start, this is most certainly not a how-to piece. If anything, I was hoping there was someone out there who might be able to enlighten me - how exactly do you perfect the art of female friendships? I realised recently that most of my female friends have known me since primary school. In fact, I'm only still friendly with a few girls from my high school days. And, since finishing high school (almost four years ago), I've only made very few female friends, and a seemingly huge pile of female enemies. I've been asking around, and it seems like I'm not the only one encountering this problem. Despite the movies and television shows proclaiming the opposite, it appears that lots of women in their 20's are having trouble befriending each other. I can't help but wonder what the cause of this phenomenon is. I'm guessing that the root of the problem is not that a large percentage of young women are all completely socially inept - so what is the problem? Why do we dislike other women so much quicker than we befriend them? Why do we spend so much time hating on other women, instead of enjoying Sex and the City-style brunches together?

I've probably spent far too much time bemoaning my lack of ability to make female friends to pretty much anyone who'll listen for five minutes, and a fair few of them have given me the same answer when I ask what the problem might be - "They're probably intimidated by you." Now this I really didn't understand until my Dad laid it all out for me.

" I don't get it, why would people be intimidated by me?" I said to him.

"Well," He replied, "You're smart, funny, beautiful and you've got a whole lot going for you. You might not see it that way, but they do."

And that really got me thinking. Is this the key thing that affects that way young women relate to one another? Do we all unknowingly intimidate each other this way? The more I think about it, the more the whole thing makes sense. As individuals, we are very good at seeing the amazing things that other people have, but not so hot at seeing all the wonderful things we have to offer others. I have to admit that other women do scare me a little bit - women who aren't me always seem so cool, confident and put-together, whereas I feel it's blindingly obvious that I'm the shy tomboy who forgot all about that coffee stain when I picked what I'm wearing. I suppose other women do intimidate me a little bit, I just never thought that I could have the same effect on them. But when it comes down to it, women spend so much time feeling like they're all part of a great big competition (to win jobs, beauty, men etc.) that it's no wonder we're all looking at each other like potential enemies rather than potential friends. It's occurred to me many times before that the people most critical of women are other women. I suppose it's little wonder that we're all a little scared of each other. I don't really know how to address this problem myself, but I'm going to try my hardest not to be scared of interacting with other women - no matter how much I'm convinced they're just going to laugh at me, and make fun of my hair. And I'm also going to try my hardest to not close myself off, and discourage other women from approaching me.

In the meantime, if anyone wants to be my friend, there are cupcakes in it for you. Lots of 'em!

Until next time, xo.

Thought For The Day

Hello there lovelies,

I was having the most horrible day today - work was so insanely busy that there was no way I could get all my jobs done, I'd hardly had any sleep, I had no money for coffee, and I knew I had to come home and finish (start) an assignment that is due tomorrow. But then I got this email:

When you don't know what to do next, Stacey, sometimes it's because you've already done more than you give yourself credit for. Hey, you don't want to make that mistake again, huh?

Every single day of your life, Stacey, you've moved mountains. And somehow I don't see this ever changing.

You rock - The Universe

It reminded me that things weren't really that bad - after all, I have a job, a bed to sleep in, enough money to pay my rent, and access to a decent education. It also reminded me to step back, take a breath and smile.

Photo by The Boyfriend

If you want to get inspiring notes from The Universe to make you smile whenever you're having a bad day (or just feel plain awesome when you're having a great day), then head over to TUT's Adventurer's Club, and sign up. It is completely free, and although Mike Dooley who runs the place has written lots of books, and various other things, you're not obligated to buy anything. Pretty sweet deal I think. Anything that makes you smile is completely worth it.

Until next time, xo.

Steam Train Saturday!

Hello there lovelies!

I've just gotten back from my long steam train journey to Toowoomba for the Carnival of Flowers - seriously, we left at just after 7AM this morning, and got home around 7:30PM, long day. But it was well worth it! The heritage steam train was gorgeous, and awesome fun, and the gardens in Toowoomba were amazing. Those gardens were precisely what I needed to pick up my mood from the last few days, and the steam train ride had me smiling the whole way. Anyway, I'm incredibly tired, so I'm mostly going to let my photographs do the talking today.

Our train!

The Boyfriend and I in our finery.

Outfit Rundown:

Headscarf: Grab Accessories, $5?
Dress: Target, $28.88
Tights: The front of some magazine, free
"Help Me Paris" Necklace: Emily The Strange keyring + The Boyfriend
Bracelets: Made by The Boyfriend

A few shots from some of the prize-winning gardens.

Until next time, xo.