The Boyfriend's Nana passed away late last night. She slipped into a coma yesterday and never regained consciousness. I've been wandering around with a big black cloud over my head, working myself into a funk about the unfairness of the world. I couldn't go to work, I found it hard to eat or think or write or move. I've even found it hard to cry. All I've been feeling is terrible sadness that such a great person has left us.
My sadness is really a little selfish. I am sad because this amazing woman will never get to come to my wedding, or meet my children. I am sad because we will never have another long conversation about old photographs, or beautiful vintage dresses, or different types of cameras or what life was like back in the day. I will never again get to see her face when The Boyfriend shows her an amazing photo, or when I show her the dresses I've gotten from the op-shops, or when one of her little dogs makes her laugh. I am sad that I will never hear another one of her stories.
On the other hand, I am happy that she doesn't have to suffer anymore, and that her pain is finally at an end. I am happy that this incredible lady was lucky enough to live to 94 and see her five sons grow up. I am happy that meeting The Boyfriend meant that I got to meet this lady and spend some time, however fleeting, with her. I am happy that I got the honour of having another Nana. Family members who were able to be with her have told us that Nana wished us all the happiness in the world. She wanted us to live happy lives, and to not spend time being sad & dwellling on her loss. I'm trying to resepect her wishes in this regard.
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