Things I Don't Want People Knowing About Me

Hello there lovelies,

Kat of Inspired to Action and Megan of Princess Lastertron have both recently written about things that they don't want people knowing about them(here & here), and that got me thinking. What things don't I usually share? What don't I want people knowing about me? Why don't I want people knowing these things? So I thought up my own list - here are the things I don't usually want people knowing about me.

1. I am incredibly shy, and I feel so awkward in social situations that it hurts. When I meet new people I worry constantly. I worry if I'm wearing the right things and if I'm saying the right things. I worry when people don't laugh at my jokes, and I worry when they do. If people don't talk to me for a while after I see them I worry that I said something wierd that made them hate me.
   


2. I hate washing dishes, so sometimes the dishes sit on my sink for weeks. Until they really start to piss me off, I only wash what dishes I need for a particular meal.
   


3. I've never really spent any time on my own until I stayed in Toowoomba for a week on my own recently. I moved straight from living with my parents, to living at university, to living with The Boyfriend. I'm terrified of spending any length of time alone, and when I am along I'm scared that some serial killer is going to get me.
   


4. I am the most unco-ordinated person in the world. IN THE WORLD. I can't catch a ball to save my life, I constantly trip over my own feet and I have trouble staying upright on a bicycle. In fact, when I was learning to ride a bike I hit everything in sight (including the one tree in our yard). I'm always covered in bruises from walking into door frames, banging my hands and arms on things, and tripping over.
   
   
5. I cry in pretty much everything, and at pretty much everything. I cry in episodes of House. I cry in emotional movies like The Green Mile. I cry in children's movies, like Dinosaur. I cry when I'm sad, when I'm happy and when I'm really angry.
   
   
6. I was once pretty much an alcoholic. I couldn't bear to spend a day without drinking, and if I had to I would get angry, distressed and panicky. I blew off old friends, and lied to my family so that I could spend more time drinking. I could scull a ten-pack of Woodstock in an hour, and be whinging later that I was sober. At the end of a pay week I'd scrape together my silver change to buy more alcohol. I'd all but stopped eating, I did a lot of stupid things and I hurt a hell of a lot of people.
   

That's pretty much it for my list. Why I don't want people to know these things is another question entirely. Partially, I think it is because I'm embarrassed by these things. But also, I hate people knowing things that I consider weaknesses. I like to be seen as strong and in control, when in reality I am often shy, clumsy, scared and obsessive. But you know, that's ok. Having people know these things about me doesn't change who I am, it just helps them understand me. It might help the other people in your life understand you if you tell them the things you don't want them to know. Why don't you give it a try?

Until next time, xo.