On Being Bullied

Hey there lovelies,

Rainbow coats & other frivolities aside, watching the second season of Glee repeatedly has actually made me rather contemplative. There was one theme in particular that really stirred up a lot of old memories for me - bullying. Karofsky's constant bullying of Kurt, Sue & Will's bullying of Coach Beiste, even Rachel's attitude towards Sunshine really struck a chord with me. I was bullied through most of my school life, and it's been one of the hardest things to put behind me. I have this terrible fear of walking into a bar, or an exercise class, or a job interview and having everyone there say, "Stacey, you are ridiculous. Why do you even bother getting out of bed when you're that ridiculous?", and bursting into hysterical laughter. I'm fairly certain that it stems from the years of constantly being told that I was ridiculous. But the thing that annoyed me most then, and that aggravates me even more now, is how no-one really seems to care.

Admittedly, I've never encountered workplace bullying, but in the school system the people that stood in the way the most were always the people with the most power to help. I've got a treasure trove of anecdotes of teachers claiming that being bullied is character-building. Or ignoring occurences of bullying that they have witnessed because, "it is the responsibility of the student to stand up & report the incidents". Or claiming that it is impossible for bullying to occur, because the school has an official bullying policy. Or quietly suggesting that the bullying victim change schools, because the environment isn't working for them. The only people that ever listened in anti-bullying lectures were never the ones doing the bullying. I've spoken out about my experiences with being bullied in my University classes on bullying, and had people tell me that it was probably my fault. That I had probably done something to warrant the bullying behaviour from my classmates. In my opinion, it is this attitude that allows bullying to continue occuring on such a large scale.

Bullying is one of many issues in society that seems to have 'blame the victim', as its' main school of thought. I'm not in high school anymore. I'm no longer the victim, but it is difficult to stop viewing the world as one. I see the stories on the news about high school kids who have been driven to suicide by bullying, and I know that they could have been me. I know how it feels when the system that should be protecting you fails you, simply because it is easier to make the victims go away than it is to make bullying go away. I wish that there was a Dalton Academy, & a Blaine for every Kurt Hummel to go to for protection, but unfortunately real life doesn't work that way. That is the reason why we, as a society, need to care. We need to call out bullies - whether that means disciplining a bullying child, or not watching a show hosted by Kyle Sandilands. It may not be happening to you, but it is happening to someone. It might be your sister, brother, cousin, best friend, your Mum, or your Dad.

By staying quiet, or looking the other way, or trying to rationalise the bullying, we are letting it happen. We should not be allowing people, or even children to harass each other because of their differences.

Until next time, xo.