The Monstrous Movie Photo Of The Day: Fiery, Barbaric Mistress Of The World's Most Sinful Empire

Written By: Ken Hulsey

I know it has been over two weeks since I last took a look into my own private collection of movie promotional images and I'm sure that all of you have been just going ape shit crazy wondering what I would pull out of my sack?

What? No bad jokes based on that really bad pun?

Okay, your no fun! Anyway today I have yet once again selected an image that was created for theater owners via trade publications. The image itself is a full page advert for the 1954 epic "Theodora, Slave Empress".

Again ... crickets

Well good old "Theodora" despite being a "Fiery, Barbaric Mistress of the World's Most Sinful Empire" failed to really bring them in during the early 1950s and the film itself is relatively forgotten. In fact, just try and find out any info on this one online.

Again ... crickets

Well the most important things you need to know is that the film is an Italian import, it stars the rather sexy Gianna Maria Canale, is based on a real figure from Roman history (Theodora I) and was kinda Xena before Lucy Lawless slipped into a leather corset.

It should also be noted that film makers of this period often times believed that history could be both entertaining and sexy, often times adding a little artistic license to the real life stories of some of histories more prominent names. The results of these films was a real mixed bag of which "Theodora" has sunk to the bottom.

As for the image itself ... well ... slave girl in a little harem outfit with a whip moves you to the head of the class!

Here is your history:

Theodora, Slave Empress (Italian: Teodora, imperatrice di Bisanzio) is a 1954 film about Theodora, a former slave who married Justinian I, emperor of Byzantium in AD 527-565. It was directed by Riccardo Freda. (Honestly ... that's all Wikipedia has on this film!)

IMDB at least has a plot:

Teodora, a Roman courtesan and former slave girl, marries the Roman emperor Justinian and assumes the throne as Empress of Rome. But the divide between nobility and slave is too great. Teodora seeks justice for her people, and revolution and armed conflict erupt in both Byzantium and Rome. - Jim Beaver

Here is what you really want to know:

Gianna Maria Canale (12 September 1927 – 13 February 2009

Canale was born in Reggio Calabria. In 1947, at the Miss Italia beauty contest, won by Lucia Bosè, she placed second. Canale received publicity in many Italian magazines after this. Her looks were compared to those of Ava Gardner. Riccardo Freda offered her a role in a movie, and, after they fell in love, they got married in Brazil, where they shot two films. Canale however was not used to living in South America and they came back to Italy, where, always directed by her husband, she starred in many sword and sandal films, as well as Italian horror and adventure films. I vampiri was her last film with Freda. She retired from the movie industry in 1964 and died in Florence in February 2009.

And about the real Theodora:

Theodora I (Greek: Θεοδώρα) (c. 500 – June 28, 548), was empress of the Roman (Byzantine) Empire and the wife of Emperor Justinian I. Like her husband, she is a saint in the Orthodox Church, commemorated on November 14. Theodora is perhaps the most influential and powerful woman in the Roman Empire's history.

I know that I will loose you if I go too far into the life of Theodora I but the rest of her bio can be found HERE.

The Monstrous Movie Quote Of The Day: Indiana Jones (Raiders of the Lost Ark 1981)

- "Oh, Marcus. What are you trying to do, scare me? You sound like my mother. We've known each other for a long time. I don't believe in magic, a lot of superstitious hocus pocus. I'm going after a find of incredible historical significance, you're talking about the boogie man. Besides, you know what a cautious fellow I am."
(tosses a gun into his suitcase)

- Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford)(Raiders of the Lost Ark)(1981)

Witchblade / Red Sonja Cross-Over Coming In February

Dynamite Entertainment (Press Release)

Join Dynamite Entertainment and Top Cow Productions as they bring two of comics most celebrated heroines together in one terrifying tale of loss and redemption with Witchblade/Red Sonja #1 coming to stores everywhere February 2012! Witchblade/Red Sonja is written by Doug Wagner and drawn by Cezar Razek, with covers by Alé Garza! In issue #1, Red Sonja, the She-Devil with a Sword, pursues a cannibalistic monstrosity into the heart of a dead, black mountain. Meanwhile, Sara Pezzini, modern day bearer of the Witchblade and NYPD Detective, investigates the ghastly death of a Catholic Priest.

"Let's get this out of the way right now, this is NOT your typical crossover," says writer Doug Wagner. "There's no time traveling, no merging of universes, no soul swapping, and no messages in a bottle. The first issue won't have the two heroes fighting against each other until they figure out who the real villain is. If that's what you're here for, you've come to the wrong place. WitchBlade/Red Sonja #1 is the beginning of a grisly trial for both characters. Red Sonja and Sara Pezzini are about to plummet into despair and hopelessness, both physically and emotionally. Their beliefs and courage will be tested, and it will take more than just either heroine brandishing their fabled weapons to overcome this threat. Humanity as they know it is at risk. And if one fails, they both fail."

"Doug and Dynamite have really gone to great lengths to create an exciting, unique cross-over event between two of the most recognizable female leads in comics," adds Top Cow Publisher Filip Sablik. "It would have been easy to come up with some contrived way for these two heroines to meet, but Doug has crafted a story that remains true and taps into the rich mythos of both properties. I'm excited to read it!"

Red Sonja, the She-Devil with a Sword, has been an incredible success under the stewardship Dynamite Entertainment! Red Sonja is a fictional character, a high fantasy sword and sorcery heroine created by Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor-Smith, and loosely based on Red Sonya of Rogatino in Robert E. Howard's 1934 short story "The Shadow of the Vulture". She first appeared in the Marvel Comics book Conan the Barbarian #23 (February 1973). Red Sonja has become the archetypical example of the fantasy figure of a fierce and stunningly beautiful female barbarian who typically wears armor resembling a bikini or lingerie.

Witchblade is an American comic book series published by Top Cow Productions, an imprint of Image Comics, from 1995 until present. The series was created by Top Cow founder Marc Silvestri, editor David Wohl, writer Brian Haberlin, and artist Michael Turner. The series follows New York City Police Detective Sara Pezzini, who is the bearer of the Witchblade, a mysterious artifact that takes the form of a deadly and powerful gauntlet. The Witchblade has been worn my countless women over the ages, including historic figures such as Cleopatra and Joan of Arc. Sara must try to control the Witchblade and learn its secrets, even as she investigates the city's strangest, most supernatural crimes.

Doug Wagner is a writer based in Atlanta, Georgia, He got his start writing ULTRAFORCE for Malibu Comics and has worked for Image, DC/Wildstorm, Dark horse and 12 gauge comics.

Join the conversation on Twitter with #WitchbladeRedSonja

Can DANGER 5 Save The World From Nazi Dinosaurs?

Written By: Ken Hulsey
Source: Avery Guerra

Now this is really cool! Earlier this week our very own Avery Guerra shot me an email full of links to a new Australian TV series called "Danger 5", which from the trailer looks like a wonderful mix of "Team America", "Inglorious Bastards", "Thunderbirds" and "Austin Powers".

What can you really say about a series that has secret agents, an eagle man ..... a tiger man, sexy dames, Nazi dinosaurs and that evil, evil Adolf Hitler. It really speaks for itself doesn't it!

Check out this tagline: "Jam packed with SEX, VIOLENCE, NAZIS and COCKTAILS!

Victory has a new name! DANGER 5"

Here is your plot:

Set in a bizarre, 1960’s inspired version of World War II, action comedy series DANGER 5 follows a team of five spies on a mission to kill Hitler. Danger 5 is the finest group of special operatives the allies have to offer; Jackson from the USA, Tucker from Australia, Ilsa from Russia, Claire from Britain and Pierre from Europe. Each episode Danger 5 unravels another of Hitler’s diabolic schemes and travels across a myriad of exotic locations spanning the globe. The action and offbeat humour never relents as Danger 5 mounts a series of thrilling missions which include discovering Josef Mengele’s perverted Antarctic death circus, busting down Erwin Rommel’s golden murder casino and posing as exotic dancers in an attempt to take out Hitler at his own birthday party.

It's too bad that no one here in the states would take a chance on something as brilliantly creative as this!

"Danger 5" is the product of a collaboration between director Dario Russo and writer David Ashby that stars David Ashby, Aldo Mignone, Sean-James Murphy, Natasa Ristic and Amanda Simons.

Check out this trailer:



You really need to check out the "Danger 5" website (HERE) which includes a wonderful parody of a 1950's men's adventure magazine called "Danger! Monthly" (HERE). If you pass up on the article entitled "I Was A Plaything Of The Devil Kittens Of Hitler's Lust Dungeon" you will kick yourself. Really informative .....

THE DINOSAUR PROJECT Promises Reptiles On A Rampage

Written By: Ken Hulsey
Source: Robert Hood / Avery Guerra / StudioCanal

Ah just what we all needed to break the mundane vibe of a Monday morning a good old-fashioned dinosaur movie!

Being hyped as “the most exciting dinosaur action movie since Jurassic Park!” is the latest project by Moonlighting Films and StudioCanal (the same folks who brought us Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz). The aptly titled "The Dinosaur Project." is presently in production under the direction of Sid Bennett (Prehistoric Park) and will feature CGI effects from the BAFTA award winning team at Jellyfish Pictures.

From the looks of it so far "The Dinosaur Project" looks a lot like a combination between "The Last Dinosaur" and "The Land that Time Forgot" which if you know your dinosaur films is a groovy combination. The script itself is very heavily inspired by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's classic novel "The Lost World" in which dinosaurs are found to be alive and well living in a remote secluded area of South America.

Of course there has to be a modern spin on the story. This time around a film crew who is in the Congo to make a documentary about the local flora and fauna stumbles upon the "The Land that Time Forgot" and in true dino movie fashion spend the rest of the movie trying to avoid becoming a meal.

And who are the potential dinosaur snacks you may ask? Starring alongside the titanic terrors will be Natasha Loring (pictured above), Peter Brooke (Spooks, Doctor Who, The Wild West) and Matt Kane (The Cut).

According to sources "The Dinosaur Project" will be shot in the same "first person" style as "Cloverfield" and "The Blair Witch Project" so keep your motion sickness pills and barf bags at the ready.

Here is the photographic evidence that dinosaurs still inhabit the Congo:




Look for "The Dinosaur Project" to hit theaters in 2012.

EMERALD LAGOON - Creature Homage Or Sequel?

Written By: Ken Hulsey
Sources: Robert Hood / Bobby Bragg / Avery Guerra

Indie film maker Bobby Bragg has spent his summer down in the swamps filming "Emerald Lagoon" a movie that is part "Boggy Creek" part "Swamp Thing" and a whole lot "Creature from the Black Lagoon." In fact the film is so heavily inspired by the 1954 Universal classic directed by Jack Arnold that it is really hard to determine if it is just an homage or an indirect sequel? On that point Bragg isn't saying much or for that matter in any hurry to reveal the appearance of the monster who resides in Emerald Lagoon. Though he has alluded to the fact that the monster may indeed look very much like the iconic "Gill-man" from the original Creature trilogy. One dead giveaway is the original title of the film "The Creature in the Black Lagoon" which obviously reveals Bragg's intent.

Of course Universal may have had something to say about that and undoubtedly Bragg would have gotten a few letters from some attorneys.

Though the original Creature films were strictly horror films in Emerald Lagoon Bragg has added bits of comedy and is actually marketing the movie as a "family adventure".

Here is the plot:

When micro scientist, Dr Connors and his assistant Libby Myers are discovered missing from the small everglades community of Emerald Lagoon, Libby's father becomes concerned and tries to find Roland, a local fishing guide to search for her... But the errant guide is currently in the doghouse with his wife, Alyssa, who has discovered that he has been anything but faithful. Local law enforcement, Sheriff Blackburn, is not taking the disappearance of the two seriously, and Roland is more concerned about getting his family back than looking for Libby. When Myers, frustrated on both fronts, decides to undertake a search on his own, he quickly discovers that the swamp is a scary and dangerous place. He retreats to approach Roland with another offer. Luckily Alyssa feels sympathy for Myers and urges Roland to help the desperate father. Roland and Alyssa's young daughter Sophie, upset with her parents over the breakup, wanders into the swamp. A suspicious creature from the muck lurks in the waters of Emerald Lagoon, and patiently waits as Sophie treks deeper into the jungle...

Here is the trailer and some photos from Emerald Lagoon:

New Images From HAYWIRE, IMMORTALS, SHARK NIGHT 3D And THE RAVEN

Written By: Ken Hulsey
Source: Relativity Media

Comic Con time is upon us fellow Geektoids, which means that all the movie and television studios are about to unleash a whole friggin ton of stuff about their upcoming projects. The first studio to shoot stuff our way, Relativity Media.

HAYWIRE


Haywire is an upcoming action film directed by Steven Soderbergh, starring Antonio Banderas, Michael Douglas, Ewan McGregor and Channing Tatum.

After she is betrayed on a mission in Barcelona, freelancing Covert Operative Mallory Kane (Carano) is forced to protect her family and go after those who betrayed her.

Photos:


IMMORTALS

Immortals is an upcoming 2011 fantasy-action drama film directed by Tarsem Singh and starring Henry Cavill, Freida Pinto, and Mickey Rourke. The film was previously named Dawn of War and War of the Gods before being officially named Immortals and is loosely based on the Greek myth of Theseus and the Minotaur and the Titanomachy.

It is set to be released in 3-D on November 11, 2011 by Universal Pictures and Relativity Media.
Years after the Titanomachy, the Titan Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) declares war on humanity. He searches for the Epirus Bow, a legendary weapon created by the war god Ares, which will allow him to free the rest of the Titans from Tartarus and take revenge on the Olympians who brought about their downfall. In accordance with ancient laws, the gods are unable to take a side in the war between Hyperion and humanity. It is left to a peasant named Theseus (Henry Cavill), chosen by Zeus (Luke Evans) and accompanied by the priestess Phaedra (Freida Pinto) and a slave (Stephen Dorff), to protect his homeland and save the gods.

Photos:

SHARK NIGHT 3D

Shark Night 3D is an upcoming 3D horror-thriller film directed by David R. Ellis.

The story revolves around seven male and female college friends from Tulane University who spend a weekend at a lake house in Louisiana’s Gulf area. When their vacation quickly becomes a nightmare of shark attacks, unheard of in freshwater lakes, they soon discover that the sharks are part of a sick, greedy plan on the part of several locals.

THE RAVEN

The Raven is an upcoming film directed by James McTeigue and based on a screenplay by Ben Livingston and Hannah Shakespeare. It is due for release on March 9, 2012.

A serial killer challenges Edgar Allan Poe to solve a series of murders based on his stories.

You Know Your Famous When You Get Interviewed By Kermit The Frog

Written By: Ken Hulsey
Source: Walt Disney Studios

There are several milestones that an actor or actress can achieve in their career. These can range from simply being cast in a local play to landing a part in a big time Hollywood movie. Some of the very fortunate may even bring home a coveted Oscar for a amazing performance in a timeless role.

However, I ask you, how do you know when you have finally made it? I mean really reached the pinnacle of acting?

The answer is simple. You find yourself being interviewed on the red carpet at a movie premiere by Kermit the Frog.

I found an interesting email in my In Box this morning from Disney hyping the fact that Kermit was on hand at the premiere of "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" interviewing celebrities.

I found this odd that with all the stars on hand for such a gala event that Kermit was the one being listed in my email?

That was until I learned that there was a new Muppet movie coming out in November and that it was to do some covert publicity for that film.

The Mouse is a sly one.

Anyway, here are some photos of Kermit attacking .... I mean interviewing Penélope Cruz.

Penélope Cruz answers a question posed by Kermit the Frog, star of Walt Disney Pictures’ “The Muppets,” coming to theaters this Thanksgiving, on the red carpet at the World Premiere of Walt Disney Pictures and Jerry Bruckheimer Films’ “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” at Disneyland on Saturday, May 7. The highly anticipated action-adventure opens in theaters on May 20, in Disney Digital 3D™.

Is it just me or does Kermit look like he's about to say "Nice dress .... can I see you out of it later?"

Maybe it's just me ...... ?

Penélope Cruz is all smiles as she exits her red-carpet interview with Kermit the Frog, star of Walt Disney Pictures’ “The Muppets,” coming to theaters this Thanksgiving, at the World Premiere of Walt Disney Pictures and Jerry Bruckheimer Films’ “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” at Disneyland on Saturday, May 7. The highly anticipated action-adventure opens in theaters on May 20, in Disney Digital 3D™. (Photo © Greg Williams)

Translation: "Get me away from this puppet and on to someone from "Entertainment Tonight"

Next victim:
Sam Claflin chats with Kermit the Frog, star of Walt Disney Pictures’ “The Muppets,” coming to theaters this Thanksgiving, on the red carpet at the World Premiere of Walt Disney Pictures and Jerry Bruckheimer Films’ “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” at Disneyland on Saturday, May 7. The highly anticipated action-adventure opens in theaters on May 20, in Disney Digital 3D™.

Other sites have Johnny Depp .... I got Kermit.

Yes I have a love for the strange a surreal ......

See Also: The First Look At PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES / Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides! Action Figure Assortment / Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Begins Filming / Plot Details / Cornwall To Stand In For The Caribbean For 'Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' / Pirates Of The Caribbean 4 - Blackbeard And The Fountain Of Youth / Pirates Of The Caribbean 4 Starting To Get Some Wind Behind It's Sails

The First Look At PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES

Written By: Ken Hulsey
Source: Walt Disney Studios

Today Walt Disney Studios has released the first ever images from "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides." These pics show Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow, and the fetching Penelope Cruz as Angelica, in the usual kind of hi jinks that we have come to expect from the "Pirates" movie series. There's Jack taking a ride on the back of a carriage , in some sort of a chase scene no doubt, Jack pushing a boat into the water, Jack and Angelica confronting Blackbeard, Jack and Angelica waste-deep in the swamp, Jack hiding and Jack being hauled away by guards.

A typical day in the life of one Jack Sparrow.

Here is the press release:

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES (In Disney Digital 3D™)

WALT DISNEY PICTURES/JERRY BRUCKHEIMER FILMS

Website and Mobile site: Disney.com/Pirates

Like us on Facebook: Facebook.com/PiratesoftheCaribbean

Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/DisneyPictures

Genre: Comedy-Adventure

Rating: TBD

U.S. Release Date: May 20, 2011

Cast: Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Ian McShane, Kevin R. McNally,

Astrid Bergès-Frisbey, Sam Claflin and Geoffrey Rush

Director: Rob Marshall

Producer: Jerry Bruckheimer

Executive Producers: Mike Stenson, Chad Oman, Barry Waldman, Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio,

John DeLuca

Screen Story and Screenplay by: Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio

Suggested by the novel by: Tim Powers

Based on characters created by: Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio and Stuart Beattie and Jay Wolpert

Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and directed by Rob Marshall, “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” captures the fun, adventure and humor that ignited the hit franchise—this time in Disney Digital 3D™. Johnny Depp returns to his iconic role of Captain Jack Sparrow in an action-packed adventure. Crossing paths with the enigmatic Angelica (Penélope Cruz), he’s not sure if it’s love—or if she’s a ruthless con artist who’s using him to find the fabled Fountain of Youth. When she forces him aboard the “Queen Anne’s Revenge,” the ship of the legendary pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane), Jack finds himself on an unexpected adventure in which he doesn’t know whom to fear more: Blackbeard or Angelica, with whom he shares a mysterious past. The international cast includes franchise vets Geoffrey Rush as the vengeful Captain Hector Barbossa and Kevin R. McNally as Captain Jack’s longtime comrade Joshamee Gibbs, plus Sam Claflin as a stalwart missionary and Astrid Bergès-Frisbey as a mysterious mermaid.

Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) finds himself on an unexpected journey to the fabled Fountain of Youth when a woman from his past (Penélope Cruz) forces him aboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge, the ship of the formidable pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane).

And here are the photos (with captions)

Captain Jack (JOHNNY DEPP) escapes from the clutches of King George and his Royal Guards by leaping from carriage to carriage…while they’re still moving! Ph: Peter Mountain ©Disney Enterprises, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Captain Jack (JOHNNY DEPP) attempts a quick getaway from yet another precarious situation in the Caribbean. Ph: Peter Mountain ©Disney Enterprises, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Captain Jack (JOHNNY DEPP), Angelica (PENELOPE CRUZ), Blackbeard (IAN McSHANE) and their eerie crew land on an island where they hope to find the fabled Fountain of Youth. Ph: Peter Mountain ©Disney Enterprises, Inc

Captain Jack (JOHNNY DEPP) and Angelica (PENELOPE CRUZ) make their watery way through the jungle in search of the Fountain of Youth. Ph: Peter Mountain ©Disney Enterprises, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Captain Jack (JOHNNY DEPP) sets his eyes on a magical Chalice which may unlock the secrets of the Fountain of Youth. Ph: Peter Mountain ©Disney Enterprises, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Captain Jack Sparrow (JOHNNY DEPP) is literally dragged by Royal Guards through the entrance hall of St. James Palace in London for a forced audience with King George. Ph: Peter Mountain ©Disney Enterprises, Inc

See Also: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides! Action Figure Assortment / Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Begins Filming / Plot Details / Cornwall To Stand In For The Caribbean For 'Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' / Pirates Of The Caribbean 4 - Blackbeard And The Fountain Of Youth / Pirates Of The Caribbean 4 Starting To Get Some Wind Behind It's Sails