Bikini Shopping Blues

Hello there lovelies,

Today I plan to talk about a rather tenuous topic - swimsuit/bikini shopping. I hate it, you hate it. I'm yet to find anyone female who doesn't despise the process of squeezing into tiny pieces of fabric in badly lit fitting rooms (which often seem to have borrowed the carnival mirrors). It is a process that seem to waken insecurities in even the most secure of women, and as the Australian Summer draws closer I'm starting to see this again every day. A few weeks ago a lovely lady came into the fitting rooms with an arm full of swimsuits. Only a couple of minutes after she went into the changing room, I started to hear crying. I didn't know what to do. I asked if she was alright, and got no response so I stood like a stunned mullet until she came out again. As she handed me the swimsuits back, wiping away the last of her tears she said, "This is really hard sometimes, isn't it?". It saddened me, firstly because she was so sad, but also because I knew exactly what she meant.

I know what it feels like to try on a bikini, look in the mirror and feel as if every one of your flaws has been magnified by a hundred, regardless of whether said flaws even exist. I know how it feels to look in the mirror and be crushed because you don't see the body of Jessica Alba in Sin City reflected back at you. But why do I need the "perfect bikini body" to be happy about the way I look in a swimsuit? The answer, of course, is that I don't. And, of course, neither do you. Do you know who the only person who ever told me I look bad in a bikini is? Me. I am the only one who has ever seen the multitude of flaws that I constantly stress about when putting on a swimsuit. And you know what? I may not be Jessica Alba, or Scarlett Johannsson, or any other Hollywood starlet, but this Summer I am going to put on my damn bikini and strut confidently along the beach with the best of them. This is the body that I have. No magazine exercise regime, or fitting room mirror, or anything else is going to tell me that this body isn't good enough to show people.

This Summer I am banning feeling bad about my "bikini body". I am banning worrying about "wobbly thighs" in shorts. I am banning worrying about "chicken wings", or "pot bellies", or wonky ankles, whatever else there is to worry about. I don't want to be the woman crying in the change room about what I see in the mirror anymore. I'm not going to hate my body for not being something that it can't be. But mostly, I'm not going to punish myself because I'm not a swimsuit model. The best part about this? You don't have to do any of these things either. You don't need to listen to what anyone else has to say about your body, and you don't need to listen to the bad things you say about your own body. Your body does so much for you, and it is deserving of your love. I know that loving your body can be one of the hardest things to achieve, especially when you've been bent on hating it for so long. But I promise, you are worth the effort. And I will be the happiest person in the universe when no one cries in the change rooms while they shop for swimsuits, because they realise time is better spent loving than hating - and that this rule even applies to your "bikini body".

Until next time, xo.